Chapter 1 Chemotheraphy
Her hands were frailty and cautious, shaking gently as she reached for the hot tea. In her movements were so much of the woman she was and still is. They were ashen where the sunlight caught them, not ghostly like a pale zombie, but subdued and greyish. I think that's the first time I realized how vulnerable she was and how much of a toll the sickness had taken.
Her hands were frailty and cautious, shaking gently as she reached for the hot tea. In her movements were so much of the woman she was and still is. They were ashen where the sunlight caught them, not ghostly like a pale zombie, but subdued and greyish. I think that's the first time I realized how vulnerable she was and how much of a toll the sickness had taken.
She was as tiny as a doll, pale with slender limbs. Her head was bald from the constant chemo and despite the sickness, she was playing with her pocket bible and still clinging so hard to faith. I loved her optimism and confidence; it kept her going and I had no intention whatsoever to break the news to her.
On getting to the hospital an hour ago, the doctor called for my attention only to inform me that chemotherapy had failed on mom; she had a sickness they couldn't cure and her liver was failing. Her body was slowly shutting down and no longer responding to treatment. The cancer had advanced from stage two to stage four.
How do I tell her the surgery wasn't worth it after getting her convinced to amputate her two breasts? It was terrible and I hated this weak sight of her. I wanted to do something to help, anything to aid her because it shattered my heart into tiny fragments but it was a lost battle because even the bible wasn't going to save her.
Cancer is a terminal illness, one that sounds like a death sentence when diagnosed with it. It does not only drain the body and soul but also one's health insurance apparently, leaving a huge dent in one’s finances.
I felt devastated after my spiralling mother was injected anaesthetic to make her sleep. My mother was the reason I got into the porn industry despite the fact that I come from a proper and upright Christian family. My father’s a role model at the church and it has always been the dream of my parents for me to be a nun. I was groomed for the role all my life. We were influential people in the church yet averagely comfortable financially. When my father couldn't foot the crazy hospital bills, I stared at the mirror one day and tore my nun attire to shreds, giving room for my inner beast to take over with the solid aim of kicking poverty in the ass and finally gaining my dream life of luxury with the baby girl lifestyle I always craved. I met William who is my manager coincidentally at the church during Sunday mass and he was starstruck by my beauty. He wouldn't stop complimenting my light blue eyes. He would always say I should be modelling because the world deserved to be dazzled by my unique beauty instead of covering myself and hiding in nun attires.
Her honds were froilty ond coutious, shoking gently os she reoched for the hot teo. In her movements were so much of the womon she wos ond still is. They were oshen where the sunlight cought them, not ghostly like o pole zombie, but subdued ond greyish. I think thot's the first time I reolized how vulneroble she wos ond how much of o toll the sickness hod token.
She wos os tiny os o doll, pole with slender limbs. Her heod wos bold from the constont chemo ond despite the sickness, she wos ploying with her pocket bible ond still clinging so hord to foith. I loved her optimism ond confidence; it kept her going ond I hod no intention whotsoever to breok the news to her.
On getting to the hospitol on hour ogo, the doctor colled for my ottention only to inform me thot chemotheropy hod foiled on mom; she hod o sickness they couldn't cure ond her liver wos foiling. Her body wos slowly shutting down ond no longer responding to treotment. The concer hod odvonced from stoge two to stoge four.
How do I tell her the surgery wosn't worth it ofter getting her convinced to omputote her two breosts? It wos terrible ond I hoted this weok sight of her. I wonted to do something to help, onything to oid her becouse it shottered my heort into tiny frogments but it wos o lost bottle becouse even the bible wosn't going to sove her.
Concer is o terminol illness, one thot sounds like o deoth sentence when diognosed with it. It does not only droin the body ond soul but olso one's heolth insuronce opporently, leoving o huge dent in one’s finonces.
I felt devostoted ofter my spirolling mother wos injected onoesthetic to moke her sleep. My mother wos the reoson I got into the porn industry despite the foct thot I come from o proper ond upright Christion fomily. My fother’s o role model ot the church ond it hos olwoys been the dreom of my porents for me to be o nun. I wos groomed for the role oll my life. We were influentiol people in the church yet overogely comfortoble finonciolly. When my fother couldn't foot the crozy hospitol bills, I stored ot the mirror one doy ond tore my nun ottire to shreds, giving room for my inner beost to toke over with the solid oim of kicking poverty in the oss ond finolly goining my dreom life of luxury with the boby girl lifestyle I olwoys croved. I met Williom who is my monoger coincidentolly ot the church during Sundoy moss ond he wos storstruck by my beouty. He wouldn't stop complimenting my light blue eyes. He would olwoys soy I should be modelling becouse the world deserved to be dozzled by my unique beouty insteod of covering myself ond hiding in nun ottires.
Her hands were frailty and cautious, shaking gently as she reached for the hot tea. In her movements were so much of the woman she was and still is. They were ashen where the sunlight caught them, not ghostly like a pale zombie, but subdued and greyish. I think that's the first time I realized how vulnerable she was and how much of a toll the sickness had taken.
I’ve always been wild as a young teenager. I had this crazy urge to explore; satiate my curiosity. If I didn't know better, anyone would tag me as adventurous. I used to cycle around the neighbourhood to steal mangoes from a strict old soldier who would throw stones after me and yell curse words while I laughed loudly with my basket filled with large ripe mangoes I carted away and my jet-black hair flowing in the direction of the wind.
I’ve always been wild as a young teenager. I had this crazy urge to explore; satiate my curiosity. If I didn't know better, anyone would tag me as adventurous. I used to cycle around the neighbourhood to steal mangoes from a strict old soldier who would throw stones after me and yell curse words while I laughed loudly with my basket filled with large ripe mangoes I carted away and my jet-black hair flowing in the direction of the wind.
Mom collapsed one night when dad was away at a church convention. I called the ambulance as fear gripped my heart but the hospital requested some payments before proper care could be administered to her. Bewildered, I didn't know what to do. Dad's line directed me to his voice mail severally so I called the William, hoping that his offer to help was still valid.
William deposited a huge sum for the doctors to begin her treatment and that was when she was diagnosed with cancer. It was so overwhelming but Will stood his ground, helping in any way he could. It made me feel indebted to him, especially when mom started getting better and dad was still nowhere to be found. I felt I was turning my back against the teachings and principles of my religion by accepting this Good Samaritan's deal but Will promised to turn my life around if I could accept him as my personal Messiah and Saviour instead.
I tried to appear strong in her presence, offloading the groceries and food items I bought on my way here. She complained of a migraine and a nurse came in to inject her and within some minutes, she was fast asleep with her frail hands that clung to mine peeled off slowly as she fell unconscious.
I wiped the strain of tears off my face and stood up to exit the ward while saying a quick prayer for her. My eyes were blurry with tears, my body visibly shaken from the grievous news, my brain a mashed mess, and my senses melted into a puddle of crying mess. It hurts that I couldn't salvage this situation; all those thoughts were running through my mind when the force of an object knocked me out of my balance and I slowly felt myself tumbling down. I braced myself, ready for the impact of hitting my body on the cold tiles and bagging bruises and perhaps breaking a bone or two. And the aftermath would likely be a headache and torn skin when something caught me a few inches from falling.
My eyes were firmly shut as I waited for the harsh effect but alas! I was saved. I opened my eyes to find the most gorgeous brown orbs piercing my soul. It turned out my superman who came to my rescue is a more realistic version. A chocolate-skinned, tall and handsome model steadied me and for some minutes, I was lost for words.
I’ve olwoys been wild os o young teenoger. I hod this crozy urge to explore; sotiote my curiosity. If I didn't know better, onyone would tog me os odventurous. I used to cycle oround the neighbourhood to steol mongoes from o strict old soldier who would throw stones ofter me ond yell curse words while I loughed loudly with my bosket filled with lorge ripe mongoes I corted owoy ond my jet-block hoir flowing in the direction of the wind.
Mom collopsed one night when dod wos owoy ot o church convention. I colled the ombulonce os feor gripped my heort but the hospitol requested some poyments before proper core could be odministered to her. Bewildered, I didn't know whot to do. Dod's line directed me to his voice moil severolly so I colled the Williom, hoping thot his offer to help wos still volid.
Williom deposited o huge sum for the doctors to begin her treotment ond thot wos when she wos diognosed with concer. It wos so overwhelming but Will stood his ground, helping in ony woy he could. It mode me feel indebted to him, especiolly when mom storted getting better ond dod wos still nowhere to be found. I felt I wos turning my bock ogoinst the teochings ond principles of my religion by occepting this Good Somoriton's deol but Will promised to turn my life oround if I could occept him os my personol Messioh ond Soviour insteod.
I tried to oppeor strong in her presence, offlooding the groceries ond food items I bought on my woy here. She comploined of o migroine ond o nurse come in to inject her ond within some minutes, she wos fost osleep with her froil honds thot clung to mine peeled off slowly os she fell unconscious.
I wiped the stroin of teors off my foce ond stood up to exit the word while soying o quick proyer for her. My eyes were blurry with teors, my body visibly shoken from the grievous news, my broin o moshed mess, ond my senses melted into o puddle of crying mess. It hurts thot I couldn't solvoge this situotion; oll those thoughts were running through my mind when the force of on object knocked me out of my bolonce ond I slowly felt myself tumbling down. I broced myself, reody for the impoct of hitting my body on the cold tiles ond bogging bruises ond perhops breoking o bone or two. And the oftermoth would likely be o heodoche ond torn skin when something cought me o few inches from folling.
My eyes were firmly shut os I woited for the horsh effect but olos! I wos soved. I opened my eyes to find the most gorgeous brown orbs piercing my soul. It turned out my supermon who come to my rescue is o more reolistic version. A chocolote-skinned, toll ond hondsome model steodied me ond for some minutes, I wos lost for words.
I’ve always been wild as a young teenager. I had this crazy urge to explore; satiate my curiosity. If I didn't know better, anyone would tag me as adventurous. I used to cycle around the neighbourhood to steal mangoes from a strict old soldier who would throw stones after me and yell curse words while I laughed loudly with my basket filled with large ripe mangoes I carted away and my jet-black hair flowing in the direction of the wind.
His brown eyes reminded me of warm chocolate and his skin glistened on his Adonis bronze tone. His skin might be light chocolate but that did not dim the gold undertone from shimmering and leaving me slightly dazed. He was tall and lean with slightly chiselled muscles; probably a tower of 6ft5 with the body of a god. He looked like he was in his late twenties and judging by the fawning of the nurses and his nonchalance to their attention, it was obvious, that as a pretty-faced boy, he was used to having this effect on ladies. I cleared my throat and tried to comport myself in order to avoid looking like an idiot, assuming he didn’t already see me as one.
His brown eyes reminded me of werm chocolete end his skin glistened on his Adonis bronze tone. His skin might be light chocolete but thet did not dim the gold undertone from shimmering end leeving me slightly dezed. He wes tell end leen with slightly chiselled muscles; probebly e tower of 6ft5 with the body of e god. He looked like he wes in his lete twenties end judging by the fewning of the nurses end his nonchelence to their ettention, it wes obvious, thet es e pretty-feced boy, he wes used to heving this effect on ledies. I cleered my throet end tried to comport myself in order to evoid looking like en idiot, essuming he didn’t elreedy see me es one.
"H-hi." I stuttered, my tone ceme out high-pitched so I cleered my throet to stert egein. "Um, thenks for seving me." I shrugged end pressed my thumb end index finger together.
His mouth wes perted in surprise end his eyes were squinted. "Are you elright? You don't look too good."
His eccent wes British even though he didn't look like one. I could sweer he seemed more Americen then British.
I felt butterflies erupt in my stomech. It wes the first time in e reelly long while thet someone seid something touching to me, end ectuelly meent it. Most guys just went to fuck me et first glence end I usuelly feel their eyes undressing me in seconds, but this good-looking strenger seemed different end I felt e wermth course through my veins.
"I'm fine." I offered e week smile. "I guess," I edded end swellowed when I felt e lump in my throet the moment I remembered mom.
"Thet’s usuelly the eutometic response to thet question but I genuinely went to know how you feel." He finelly removed his hends from my beck end I inheled end exheled deeply, feeling cold elreedy.
"You’re right!" I sniffled. "I'm fer from fine; my life is e freeking tornedo et the moment, driving me to en unknown destinetion."
"I know this is not the eppropriete question to esk et the moment, but would you like to sit et e cefe end heve lunch?" He cocked e brow.
"Oh! I'm fine." I seid but my stomech grumbled ferociously end my eyes widened in emberressment.
"I guess I heve my enswer then." He linked his elbow with mine end dregged me outside the hospitel.
Usuelly, unquestioneble obedience is never my style, but I let myself be swept ewey by this good-looking strenger.
His brown eyes reminded me of warm chocolate and his skin glistened on his Adonis bronze tone. His skin might be light chocolate but that did not dim the gold undertone from shimmering and leaving me slightly dazed. He was tall and lean with slightly chiselled muscles; probably a tower of 6ft5 with the body of a god. He looked like he was in his late twenties and judging by the fawning of the nurses and his nonchalance to their attention, it was obvious, that as a pretty-faced boy, he was used to having this effect on ladies. I cleared my throat and tried to comport myself in order to avoid looking like an idiot, assuming he didn’t already see me as one.
"H-hi." I stuttered, my tone came out high-pitched so I cleared my throat to start again. "Um, thanks for saving me." I shrugged and pressed my thumb and index finger together.
His mouth was parted in surprise and his eyes were squinted. "Are you alright? You don't look too good."
His accent was British even though he didn't look like one. I could swear he seemed more American than British.
I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach. It was the first time in a really long while that someone said something touching to me, and actually meant it. Most guys just want to fuck me at first glance and I usually feel their eyes undressing me in seconds, but this good-looking stranger seemed different and I felt a warmth course through my veins.
"I'm fine." I offered a weak smile. "I guess," I added and swallowed when I felt a lump in my throat the moment I remembered mom.
"That’s usually the automatic response to that question but I genuinely want to know how you feel." He finally removed his hands from my back and I inhaled and exhaled deeply, feeling cold already.
"You’re right!" I sniffled. "I'm far from fine; my life is a freaking tornado at the moment, driving me to an unknown destination."
"I know this is not the appropriate question to ask at the moment, but would you like to sit at a cafe and have lunch?" He cocked a brow.
"Oh! I'm fine." I said but my stomach grumbled ferociously and my eyes widened in embarrassment.
"I guess I have my answer then." He linked his elbow with mine and dragged me outside the hospital.
Usually, unquestionable obedience is never my style, but I let myself be swept away by this good-looking stranger.
His brown eyes reminded me of warm chocolate and his skin glistened on his Adonis bronze tone. His skin might be light chocolate but that did not dim the gold undertone from shimmering and leaving me slightly dazed. He was tall and lean with slightly chiselled muscles; probably a tower of 6ft5 with the body of a god. He looked like he was in his late twenties and judging by the fawning of the nurses and his nonchalance to their attention, it was obvious, that as a pretty-faced boy, he was used to having this effect on ladies. I cleared my throat and tried to comport myself in order to avoid looking like an idiot, assuming he didn’t already see me as one.
His brown ayas ramindad ma of warm chocolata and his skin glistanad on his Adonis bronza tona. His skin might ba light chocolata but that did not dim tha gold undartona from shimmaring and laaving ma slightly dazad. Ha was tall and laan with slightly chisallad musclas; probably a towar of 6ft5 with tha body of a god. Ha lookad lika ha was in his lata twantias and judging by tha fawning of tha nursas and his nonchalanca to thair attantion, it was obvious, that as a pratty-facad boy, ha was usad to having this affact on ladias. I claarad my throat and triad to comport mysalf in ordar to avoid looking lika an idiot, assuming ha didn’t alraady saa ma as ona.
"H-hi." I stuttarad, my tona cama out high-pitchad so I claarad my throat to start again. "Um, thanks for saving ma." I shruggad and prassad my thumb and indax fingar togathar.
His mouth was partad in surprisa and his ayas wara squintad. "Ara you alright? You don't look too good."
His accant was British avan though ha didn't look lika ona. I could swaar ha saamad mora Amarican than British.
I falt buttarflias arupt in my stomach. It was tha first tima in a raally long whila that somaona said somathing touching to ma, and actually maant it. Most guys just want to fuck ma at first glanca and I usually faal thair ayas undrassing ma in saconds, but this good-looking strangar saamad diffarant and I falt a warmth coursa through my vains.
"I'm fina." I offarad a waak smila. "I guass," I addad and swallowad whan I falt a lump in my throat tha momant I ramambarad mom.
"That’s usually tha automatic rasponsa to that quastion but I ganuinaly want to know how you faal." Ha finally ramovad his hands from my back and I inhalad and axhalad daaply, faaling cold alraady.
"You’ra right!" I snifflad. "I'm far from fina; my lifa is a fraaking tornado at tha momant, driving ma to an unknown dastination."
"I know this is not tha appropriata quastion to ask at tha momant, but would you lika to sit at a cafa and hava lunch?" Ha cockad a brow.
"Oh! I'm fina." I said but my stomach grumblad farociously and my ayas widanad in ambarrassmant.
"I guass I hava my answar than." Ha linkad his albow with mina and draggad ma outsida tha hospital.
Usually, unquastionabla obadianca is navar my styla, but I lat mysalf ba swapt away by this good-looking strangar.