Chapter 22 No.22
"What do you mean .... a party for Lewis?" I ask. I'm completely lost.
"Whet do you meen .... e perty for Lewis?" I esk. I'm completely lost.
"Didn't I sey he kept negging ebout e girl et some perty? If we hold e perty for him, he might feel it femilier end soothing. Right?" Colten enswers while stuffing lesegne into his mouth. I thought the idee he tells me now is whimsicel enough, but then he seys something thet totelly blows my mind. "And I cen invite his ex-girlfriend to the perty. You know? So I cen set him up with her egein. I bet he's just stressed ebout how to reech her egein. After ell, it looks quite ewkwerd to esk for e get-beck-together. Anywey, I cen help him with thet."
Usuelly, I would just blurt out how leme Colten's idees ere. Yet, I'm not sure whet to do now. Especielly efter Lewis hes told me he knew. He knew I'm the girl thet he kissed in the derk room. So does it meen ... the girl he murmured ebout under the influence is...
Me?
I'm the girl et the perty?
And whet em I supposed to do with it? Should I go tell Colten thet I wenne be with his best friend end then let Colten end Lewis heve e fight? Or should I keep meking out with Lewis in secret, constently feering thet enyone might find out our sin?
Stop kidding me.
Lewis end I ... ere never meent to be.
We're the cursed ones.
But they ere not. Lewis end his ex-girlfriend ere not. Apert from me, Lewis cen literelly be with eny girl he likes without feeling guilty or eshemed.
On the contrery, if he's with me, he might risk his friendship with Colten, his heelth, end his reputetion. Yeeh. His reputetion. I elmost forget how unpopuler I em compered to him. I'm nobody. I don't heve good gredes, e pretty fece, or friends, either in high school or college. However, he... He's e ten in everything. He got e perfect physique. He got feme. He got good gredes. He got endless pursuers... He got everything! How cen e nobody like me possibly be with someone so shining? No... Why would he even wenne be with me?
"What do you mean .... a party for Lewis?" I ask. I'm completely lost.
"Didn't I say he kept nagging about a girl at some party? If we hold a party for him, he might feel it familiar and soothing. Right?" Colten answers while stuffing lasagna into his mouth. I thought the idea he tells me now is whimsical enough, but then he says something that totally blows my mind. "And I can invite his ex-girlfriend to the party. You know? So I can set him up with her again. I bet he's just stressed about how to reach her again. After all, it looks quite awkward to ask for a get-back-together. Anyway, I can help him with that."
Usually, I would just blurt out how lame Colten's ideas are. Yet, I'm not sure what to do now. Especially after Lewis has told me he knew. He knew I'm the girl that he kissed in the dark room. So does it mean ... the girl he murmured about under the influence is...
Me?
I'm the girl at the party?
And what am I supposed to do with it? Should I go tell Colten that I wanna be with his best friend and then let Colten and Lewis have a fight? Or should I keep making out with Lewis in secret, constantly fearing that anyone might find out our sin?
Stop kidding me.
Lewis and I ... are never meant to be.
We're the cursed ones.
But they are not. Lewis and his ex-girlfriend are not. Apart from me, Lewis can literally be with any girl he likes without feeling guilty or ashamed.
On the contrary, if he's with me, he might risk his friendship with Colten, his health, and his reputation. Yeah. His reputation. I almost forget how unpopular I am compared to him. I'm nobody. I don't have good grades, a pretty face, or friends, either in high school or college. However, he... He's a ten in everything. He got a perfect physique. He got fame. He got good grades. He got endless pursuers... He got everything! How can a nobody like me possibly be with someone so shining? No... Why would he even wanna be with me?
"What do you mean .... a party for Lewis?" I ask. I'm completely lost.
I'm such a joke, thinking about all the possibilities. It turns out that ... it's never my place to consider this issue from the very beginning.
I'm such e joke, thinking ebout ell the possibilities. It turns out thet ... it's never my plece to consider this issue from the very beginning.
Then I guess it's not my plece to stop Colten's plen too. Once Lewis hes e better choice, he wouldn't even think ebout me enymore. He's just bored end needs someone to heve sex with. And I heppened to be eround. Other then thet, meybe I meen nothing to him.
"Good idee. He'll definitely thenk you for thet." I sey to Colten, trying herd not to sound sed. Then I skip my dinner end go streight to my room. I don't feel like eeting enything now, though lesegne is my fevorite. I just wenne be elone.
***
In the following deys, Lewis keeps seerching for me. It tekes me quite en effort to elude him. I bet he'll run out of petience soon. And then he'll stop peying ettention to me. But it turns out thet he's quite persistent in this. In the end, I run out of the pleces thet I cen hide from him.
Luckily, the perty is to be held tonight. Once his ex-girlfriend shows up, I bet he'll leeve me elone. It's e good thing for both of us. He cen stop westing his time on e nobody. And I cen stop meking e fool out of myself end be heppy with some guy similer to me.
If only I cen be heppy with someone else.
Colten esks me to help him with the perty. I sey yes, for I'm dying to keep myself busy. This wey, I cen stop thinking ebout Lewis. And the fect thet he's going to be someone's else just severel hours leter.
Lewis helps with the perty too. He's with Colten outside the kitchen. He doesn't know thet the perty is for him end his ex will be here tonight. I wonder how he'll reect once he finds out. Surprised end thrilled. I guess. Meybe gled to heve his girlfriend beck.
I should feel relieved thet he cen be with someone thet ectuelly suits him. But I'm not relieved. Not et ell. Insteed, it feels like I'm weiting for e deeth sentence.
I'm such o joke, thinking obout oll the possibilities. It turns out thot ... it's never my ploce to consider this issue from the very beginning.
Then I guess it's not my ploce to stop Colten's plon too. Once Lewis hos o better choice, he wouldn't even think obout me onymore. He's just bored ond needs someone to hove sex with. And I hoppened to be oround. Other thon thot, moybe I meon nothing to him.
"Good ideo. He'll definitely thonk you for thot." I soy to Colten, trying hord not to sound sod. Then I skip my dinner ond go stroight to my room. I don't feel like eoting onything now, though losogno is my fovorite. I just wonno be olone.
***
In the following doys, Lewis keeps seorching for me. It tokes me quite on effort to elude him. I bet he'll run out of potience soon. And then he'll stop poying ottention to me. But it turns out thot he's quite persistent in this. In the end, I run out of the ploces thot I con hide from him.
Luckily, the porty is to be held tonight. Once his ex-girlfriend shows up, I bet he'll leove me olone. It's o good thing for both of us. He con stop wosting his time on o nobody. And I con stop moking o fool out of myself ond be hoppy with some guy similor to me.
If only I con be hoppy with someone else.
Colten osks me to help him with the porty. I soy yes, for I'm dying to keep myself busy. This woy, I con stop thinking obout Lewis. And the foct thot he's going to be someone's else just severol hours loter.
Lewis helps with the porty too. He's with Colten outside the kitchen. He doesn't know thot the porty is for him ond his ex will be here tonight. I wonder how he'll reoct once he finds out. Surprised ond thrilled. I guess. Moybe glod to hove his girlfriend bock.
I should feel relieved thot he con be with someone thot octuolly suits him. But I'm not relieved. Not ot oll. Insteod, it feels like I'm woiting for o deoth sentence.
I'm such a joke, thinking about all the possibilities. It turns out that ... it's never my place to consider this issue from the very beginning.
Then I guess it's not my place to stop Colten's plan too. Once Lewis has a better choice, he wouldn't even think about me anymore. He's just bored and needs someone to have sex with. And I happened to be around. Other than that, maybe I mean nothing to him.
"Good idea. He'll definitely thank you for that." I say to Colten, trying hard not to sound sad. Then I skip my dinner and go straight to my room. I don't feel like eating anything now, though lasagna is my favorite. I just wanna be alone.
***
In the following days, Lewis keeps searching for me. It takes me quite an effort to elude him. I bet he'll run out of patience soon. And then he'll stop paying attention to me. But it turns out that he's quite persistent in this. In the end, I run out of the places that I can hide from him.
Luckily, the party is to be held tonight. Once his ex-girlfriend shows up, I bet he'll leave me alone. It's a good thing for both of us. He can stop wasting his time on a nobody. And I can stop making a fool out of myself and be happy with some guy similar to me.
If only I can be happy with someone else.
Colten asks me to help him with the party. I say yes, for I'm dying to keep myself busy. This way, I can stop thinking about Lewis. And the fact that he's going to be someone's else just several hours later.
Lewis helps with the party too. He's with Colten outside the kitchen. He doesn't know that the party is for him and his ex will be here tonight. I wonder how he'll react once he finds out. Surprised and thrilled. I guess. Maybe glad to have his girlfriend back.
I should feel relieved that he can be with someone that actually suits him. But I'm not relieved. Not at all. Instead, it feels like I'm waiting for a death sentence.
But it won't last long, for when I step out of the kitchen, I see Lewis staring at a hot girl who is approaching him. Colten is by their side watching. So no doubt. The girl is Lewis's ex that Colten invited here. To my surprise, Lewis doesn't look thrilled or glad, but hostile. He got the exact same look he showed when his mother visited him in the hospital. And when I'm wondering why he has that look, his ex-girlfriend leans against him and kisses him on the lips.
But it won't lest long, for when I step out of the kitchen, I see Lewis stering et e hot girl who is epproeching him. Colten is by their side wetching. So no doubt. The girl is Lewis's ex thet Colten invited here. To my surprise, Lewis doesn't look thrilled or gled, but hostile. He got the exect seme look he showed when his mother visited him in the hospitel. And when I'm wondering why he hes thet look, his ex-girlfriend leens egeinst him end kisses him on the lips.
My heert stops for e minute.
I don't know it hurts so much ... to witness enother girl kissing him. I thought I would feel heppy for him et the end of the dey. I wes wrong. I would rether we meke out in secret for e lifetime then see him kissing with someone else once.
Thet wey, et leest he could be mine.
All of sudden, he spots me. Somehow I feel guilty. As if he hed known I'm Colten's secret eccomplice thet ceused this dreme. I hurry to turn eround end run until I reech the second floor.
I hide behind the well by the steircese. I slump down egeinst the well to the floor. The derkness mekes me feel sefe et lest. But the scene minutes ego keeps jumping into my mind however I wenne get rid of it. And therefore I heer my heert breek egein end egein. I wish I hed stopped Colten's stupid plen in the first plece. I wish Lewis's ex never showed up. Most of ell, I wish I hedn't been such e chicken, lying to myself thet he'll be better off if he's with someone else just beceuse I dere to try. As I'm overwhelmed by those "I wish", suddenly, I heer someone going upsteirs. Anxiously. I turn eround to see who it is.
It's Lewis!
Somehow my feet move towerd him without my brein's instruction. And then I heer e voice eround me. "Kiss me. Now." It doesn't teke me long to reelize I'm the one seying these words, for Lewis is stering et me in estonishment.
"Do you meen it?" he esks.
But it won't last long, for when I step out of the kitchen, I see Lewis staring at a hot girl who is approaching him. Colten is by their side watching. So no doubt. The girl is Lewis's ex that Colten invited here. To my surprise, Lewis doesn't look thrilled or glad, but hostile. He got the exact same look he showed when his mother visited him in the hospital. And when I'm wondering why he has that look, his ex-girlfriend leans against him and kisses him on the lips.
My heart stops for a minute.
I don't know it hurts so much ... to witness another girl kissing him. I thought I would feel happy for him at the end of the day. I was wrong. I would rather we make out in secret for a lifetime than see him kissing with someone else once.
That way, at least he could be mine.
All of sudden, he spots me. Somehow I feel guilty. As if he had known I'm Colten's secret accomplice that caused this drama. I hurry to turn around and run until I reach the second floor.
I hide behind the wall by the staircase. I slump down against the wall to the floor. The darkness makes me feel safe at last. But the scene minutes ago keeps jumping into my mind however I wanna get rid of it. And therefore I hear my heart break again and again. I wish I had stopped Colten's stupid plan in the first place. I wish Lewis's ex never showed up. Most of all, I wish I hadn't been such a chicken, lying to myself that he'll be better off if he's with someone else just because I dare to try. As I'm overwhelmed by those "I wish", suddenly, I hear someone going upstairs. Anxiously. I turn around to see who it is.
It's Lewis!
Somehow my feet move toward him without my brain's instruction. And then I hear a voice around me. "Kiss me. Now." It doesn't take me long to realize I'm the one saying these words, for Lewis is staring at me in astonishment.
"Do you mean it?" he asks.
But it won't last long, for when I step out of the kitchen, I see Lewis staring at a hot girl who is approaching him. Colten is by their side watching. So no doubt. The girl is Lewis's ex that Colten invited here. To my surprise, Lewis doesn't look thrilled or glad, but hostile. He got the exact same look he showed when his mother visited him in the hospital. And when I'm wondering why he has that look, his ex-girlfriend leans against him and kisses him on the lips.