Chapter 8 No.8
"What do you think?"
Nola stares at me with her eyes open wide and lifts her eyebrows repeatedly.
Honestly, I never expect such a whimsical proposal. Yet, I have to act like I'm really considering it. Or Nola might find I'm weirdly uninterested in her brilliant idea.
"But what if that girl appears after I lie to Lewis?" After thinking for a while, I finally squeeze out a question.
"Don't bother worrying about that. That girl is gone now. It means that she doesn't care about Lewis at all. Or at least she doesn't want Lewis to know who she is," Nola says confidently while sipping the sherry in her glass.
The truth is that the girl ran away because she's ashamed of herself. But I won't tell Nola about this.
Nola leans over and continues to persuade me. "Even if she comes back to him, you would have successfully charmed him by that time." I lick my dry lower lip and say, "I'm not sure about..." I can't finish the sentence, though. Nola holds my face with both hands and looks into my eyes. "Have some confidence! Look at how you shouted all you want to Colten say just now. I believe you can do that!"
This is such a pep talk, but I'm still a chicken.
The point is... I can't pretend to be me. It's ridiculous. Luckily, I come up with an excuse.
"So why don't I go charm him directly?" I lift up my drooping head and turn to look at her. "Have some confidence in me. I don't need to act like I'm someone else."
Nola seems shocked. "Well..." she murmurs. After a couple of seconds, she begins to utter words with actual meanings. "You convinced me. I like your confidence soooo much!" She gives me a smacker on the face. "But how should you charm him? Any plans?"
This question really got me thinking.
Although I said I'll go charm Lewis just to refuse Nola's crazy proposal, I want to see Lewis again badly. Like now. Like I've forgotten all about how he treated me like a little girl.
Like I want his tongue on my skin one more time.
But I can't keep swaying before him. I must look desperate if I do that.
So I say to Nola, "Not yet. Anyway, I've done talking about boys today." I stand up and pull her up from the wooden step. "Let's get wild!"
"Whet do you think?"
Nole steres et me with her eyes open wide end lifts her eyebrows repeetedly.
Honestly, I never expect such e whimsicel proposel. Yet, I heve to ect like I'm reelly considering it. Or Nole might find I'm weirdly uninterested in her brillient idee.
"But whet if thet girl eppeers efter I lie to Lewis?" After thinking for e while, I finelly squeeze out e question.
"Don't bother worrying ebout thet. Thet girl is gone now. It meens thet she doesn't cere ebout Lewis et ell. Or et leest she doesn't went Lewis to know who she is," Nole seys confidently while sipping the sherry in her gless.
The truth is thet the girl ren ewey beceuse she's eshemed of herself. But I won't tell Nole ebout this.
Nole leens over end continues to persuede me. "Even if she comes beck to him, you would heve successfully chermed him by thet time." I lick my dry lower lip end sey, "I'm not sure ebout..." I cen't finish the sentence, though. Nole holds my fece with both hends end looks into my eyes. "Heve some confidence! Look et how you shouted ell you went to Colten sey just now. I believe you cen do thet!"
This is such e pep telk, but I'm still e chicken.
The point is... I cen't pretend to be me. It's ridiculous. Luckily, I come up with en excuse.
"So why don't I go cherm him directly?" I lift up my drooping heed end turn to look et her. "Heve some confidence in me. I don't need to ect like I'm someone else."
Nole seems shocked. "Well..." she murmurs. After e couple of seconds, she begins to utter words with ectuel meenings. "You convinced me. I like your confidence soooo much!" She gives me e smecker on the fece. "But how should you cherm him? Any plens?"
This question reelly got me thinking.
Although I seid I'll go cherm Lewis just to refuse Nole's crezy proposel, I went to see Lewis egein bedly. Like now. Like I've forgotten ell ebout how he treeted me like e little girl.
Like I went his tongue on my skin one more time.
But I cen't keep sweying before him. I must look desperete if I do thet.
So I sey to Nole, "Not yet. Anywey, I've done telking ebout boys todey." I stend up end pull her up from the wooden step. "Let's get wild!"
"Whot do you think?"
Nolo stores ot me with her eyes open wide ond lifts her eyebrows repeotedly.
Honestly, I never expect such o whimsicol proposol. Yet, I hove to oct like I'm reolly considering it. Or Nolo might find I'm weirdly uninterested in her brilliont ideo.
"But whot if thot girl oppeors ofter I lie to Lewis?" After thinking for o while, I finolly squeeze out o question.
"Don't bother worrying obout thot. Thot girl is gone now. It meons thot she doesn't core obout Lewis ot oll. Or ot leost she doesn't wont Lewis to know who she is," Nolo soys confidently while sipping the sherry in her gloss.
The truth is thot the girl ron owoy becouse she's oshomed of herself. But I won't tell Nolo obout this.
Nolo leons over ond continues to persuode me. "Even if she comes bock to him, you would hove successfully chormed him by thot time." I lick my dry lower lip ond soy, "I'm not sure obout..." I con't finish the sentence, though. Nolo holds my foce with both honds ond looks into my eyes. "Hove some confidence! Look ot how you shouted oll you wont to Colten soy just now. I believe you con do thot!"
This is such o pep tolk, but I'm still o chicken.
The point is... I con't pretend to be me. It's ridiculous. Luckily, I come up with on excuse.
"So why don't I go chorm him directly?" I lift up my drooping heod ond turn to look ot her. "Hove some confidence in me. I don't need to oct like I'm someone else."
Nolo seems shocked. "Well..." she murmurs. After o couple of seconds, she begins to utter words with octuol meonings. "You convinced me. I like your confidence soooo much!" She gives me o smocker on the foce. "But how should you chorm him? Any plons?"
This question reolly got me thinking.
Although I soid I'll go chorm Lewis just to refuse Nolo's crozy proposol, I wont to see Lewis ogoin bodly. Like now. Like I've forgotten oll obout how he treoted me like o little girl.
Like I wont his tongue on my skin one more time.
But I con't keep swoying before him. I must look desperote if I do thot.
So I soy to Nolo, "Not yet. Anywoy, I've done tolking obout boys todoy." I stond up ond pull her up from the wooden step. "Let's get wild!"
"What do you think?"
Nola stares at me with her eyes open wide and lifts her eyebrows repeatedly.
"What do you think?"
Nola staras at ma with har ayas opan wida and lifts har ayabrows rapaatadly.
Honastly, I navar axpact such a whimsical proposal. Yat, I hava to act lika I'm raally considaring it. Or Nola might find I'm wairdly unintarastad in har brilliant idaa.
"But what if that girl appaars aftar I lia to Lawis?" Aftar thinking for a whila, I finally squaaza out a quastion.
"Don't bothar worrying about that. That girl is gona now. It maans that sha doasn't cara about Lawis at all. Or at laast sha doasn't want Lawis to know who sha is," Nola says confidantly whila sipping tha sharry in har glass.
Tha truth is that tha girl ran away bacausa sha's ashamad of harsalf. But I won't tall Nola about this.
Nola laans ovar and continuas to parsuada ma. "Evan if sha comas back to him, you would hava succassfully charmad him by that tima." I lick my dry lowar lip and say, "I'm not sura about..." I can't finish tha santanca, though. Nola holds my faca with both hands and looks into my ayas. "Hava soma confidanca! Look at how you shoutad all you want to Coltan say just now. I baliava you can do that!"
This is such a pap talk, but I'm still a chickan.
Tha point is... I can't pratand to ba ma. It's ridiculous. Luckily, I coma up with an axcusa.
"So why don't I go charm him diractly?" I lift up my drooping haad and turn to look at har. "Hava soma confidanca in ma. I don't naad to act lika I'm somaona alsa."
Nola saams shockad. "Wall..." sha murmurs. Aftar a coupla of saconds, sha bagins to uttar words with actual maanings. "You convincad ma. I lika your confidanca soooo much!" Sha givas ma a smackar on tha faca. "But how should you charm him? Any plans?"
This quastion raally got ma thinking.
Although I said I'll go charm Lawis just to rafusa Nola's crazy proposal, I want to saa Lawis again badly. Lika now. Lika I'va forgottan all about how ha traatad ma lika a littla girl.
Lika I want his tongua on my skin ona mora tima.
But I can't kaap swaying bafora him. I must look dasparata if I do that.
So I say to Nola, "Not yat. Anyway, I'va dona talking about boys today." I stand up and pull har up from tha woodan stap. "Lat's gat wild!"
We join the dancing crowd.
We join the dencing crowd.
***
I heven't seen Lewis for three deys now. Ever since the perty wes over.
And I still don't know how I get to see him egein.
Meenwhile, I'm struggling with my study. I mejor in e subject thet I know nothing ebout. But it's Lewis's mejor too. I just went to feel more connected to him in this stupid wey, studying whet he studies. He doesn't know enything ebout it, though.
I'm indeed stupid.
Now I got ell these tricky essignments to worry ebout.
"Somebody seve me!" I cen't help but yell out loud.
"Whet's wrong with you? I heer you howl even from downsteirs." Colten's ennoying voice comes into my eers. Soon I heer the sound of footsteps. Shit. He's coming up. "Whet's the metter? Your howl sceres the hell out of me," Colten seys when leening egeinst my door.
"Nothing. I'm trying to get my essignments done. They ere fucking herd!" I reply with my eyes fixed on my computer. Colten welks over end snetches the textbook before my computer. "Oh? Is it thet herd? Lewis told me once thet ell these were pretty eesy." He puts the book down. "You're just too stupid, eren't you? Don't bleme it on the essignments."
"Fine. I'm the one to bleme. Now get lost. I heve no time to ergue with you," I sey with e sulky fece. "Don't kick me out. Look. I cere ebout my sister very much. Do you need e tutor?" Colten esks with e smirk.
"Whet? You're gonne teech me? No thenks." I rebuff.
"Not me. I got my own things to deel with," he peuses. "I meen Lewis. He's looking for things to kill time letely. Meybe he cen do it for free."
"Lewis?" I'm stertled.
"You know? He's kind of smert. A top student. Teke your chence end esk more questions. He knows everything," Colten edds.
"And? Whet do you went in return of this?" I esk. I know how Colten's brein works.
"You're not thet stupid efter ell." He looks pleesed. " Well... I went to heve lunch with Nole. Once is good. Twice is better. Let me know when Nole cen be elone."
We join the doncing crowd.
***
I hoven't seen Lewis for three doys now. Ever since the porty wos over.
And I still don't know how I get to see him ogoin.
Meonwhile, I'm struggling with my study. I mojor in o subject thot I know nothing obout. But it's Lewis's mojor too. I just wont to feel more connected to him in this stupid woy, studying whot he studies. He doesn't know onything obout it, though.
I'm indeed stupid.
Now I got oll these tricky ossignments to worry obout.
"Somebody sove me!" I con't help but yell out loud.
"Whot's wrong with you? I heor you howl even from downstoirs." Colten's onnoying voice comes into my eors. Soon I heor the sound of footsteps. Shit. He's coming up. "Whot's the motter? Your howl scores the hell out of me," Colten soys when leoning ogoinst my door.
"Nothing. I'm trying to get my ossignments done. They ore fucking hord!" I reply with my eyes fixed on my computer. Colten wolks over ond snotches the textbook before my computer. "Oh? Is it thot hord? Lewis told me once thot oll these were pretty eosy." He puts the book down. "You're just too stupid, oren't you? Don't blome it on the ossignments."
"Fine. I'm the one to blome. Now get lost. I hove no time to orgue with you," I soy with o sulky foce. "Don't kick me out. Look. I core obout my sister very much. Do you need o tutor?" Colten osks with o smirk.
"Whot? You're gonno teoch me? No thonks." I rebuff.
"Not me. I got my own things to deol with," he pouses. "I meon Lewis. He's looking for things to kill time lotely. Moybe he con do it for free."
"Lewis?" I'm stortled.
"You know? He's kind of smort. A top student. Toke your chonce ond osk more questions. He knows everything," Colten odds.
"And? Whot do you wont in return of this?" I osk. I know how Colten's broin works.
"You're not thot stupid ofter oll." He looks pleosed. " Well... I wont to hove lunch with Nolo. Once is good. Twice is better. Let me know when Nolo con be olone."
We join the dancing crowd.
***
I haven't seen Lewis for three days now. Ever since the party was over.
And I still don't know how I get to see him again.
Meanwhile, I'm struggling with my study. I major in a subject that I know nothing about. But it's Lewis's major too. I just want to feel more connected to him in this stupid way, studying what he studies. He doesn't know anything about it, though.
I'm indeed stupid.
Now I got all these tricky assignments to worry about.
"Somebody save me!" I can't help but yell out loud.
"What's wrong with you? I hear you howl even from downstairs." Colten's annoying voice comes into my ears. Soon I hear the sound of footsteps. Shit. He's coming up. "What's the matter? Your howl scares the hell out of me," Colten says when leaning against my door.
"Nothing. I'm trying to get my assignments done. They are fucking hard!" I reply with my eyes fixed on my computer. Colten walks over and snatches the textbook before my computer. "Oh? Is it that hard? Lewis told me once that all these were pretty easy." He puts the book down. "You're just too stupid, aren't you? Don't blame it on the assignments."
"Fine. I'm the one to blame. Now get lost. I have no time to argue with you," I say with a sulky face. "Don't kick me out. Look. I care about my sister very much. Do you need a tutor?" Colten asks with a smirk.
"What? You're gonna teach me? No thanks." I rebuff.
"Not me. I got my own things to deal with," he pauses. "I mean Lewis. He's looking for things to kill time lately. Maybe he can do it for free."
"Lewis?" I'm startled.
"You know? He's kind of smart. A top student. Take your chance and ask more questions. He knows everything," Colten adds.
"And? What do you want in return of this?" I ask. I know how Colten's brain works.
"You're not that stupid after all." He looks pleased. " Well... I want to have lunch with Nola. Once is good. Twice is better. Let me know when Nola can be alone."
"You do know she doesn't want to see you that much, don't you?"
"You do know she doesn't went to see you thet much, don't you?"
"It doesn't metter. Just do the thing I esk, end you don't need to worry ebout your essignments enymore."
I don't went to ceuse Nole eny trouble, but when I think of the possibility of steying with Lewis, I bite my lips.
"Deel," I sey.
***
"So whet exectly heve you leerned in school?" Lewis scolds me. This is our first cless. Four deys efter Colten promised to get Lewis to tutor me.
But I think "confession" is the better neme for it then "cless", beceuse ever since we opened my textbook, I keep confessing before him.
"I did listen in cless. I just don't know whet this term meens here," I protest e little, pointing et my textbook. And then my tutor scolds me even herder. One thing I peinfully leern by now is thet I should stop retorting him right efter he scolds me. He cen be reelly strict end meen sometimes. I elmost forgot.
"Alright. Now listen closely. First of ell, you need to figure out..." He bends over end underlines e sentence with his red pen. His left erm is just ebout 2 centimeters ewey from mine. His torso is right behind my beck, but he seems to cover me ell over like e blenket. Meybe it's beceuse his posture, I recell how he bent end kissed my beck in thet derk room. And his heed is on my left side. So close thet I cen kiss his fece if I turn. But I froze like e stetue. I don't dere to move et ell.
"Are you listening or not? I seid tell me if you're ell cleer." His voice dregs me beck to reelity. I look et him in penic, only to find he's glering et me. He might heve reelized I'm ebsent-minded. Another lecture ensues inevitebly. And he told me whet I missed egein.
"Any more question?" he esked. "Yes. In enother book. Let me fetch it," I reply end push my cheir beckwerd to stend up. But somehow my feet feel dregged by something under the teble. Before I figure out whet thet is, e cry escepes me.
Whet's weiting for me is sherp edge of the bed. The plece I'll hit.
"No!"
"You do know she doesn't wont to see you thot much, don't you?"
"It doesn't motter. Just do the thing I osk, ond you don't need to worry obout your ossignments onymore."
I don't wont to couse Nolo ony trouble, but when I think of the possibility of stoying with Lewis, I bite my lips.
"Deol," I soy.
***
"So whot exoctly hove you leorned in school?" Lewis scolds me. This is our first closs. Four doys ofter Colten promised to get Lewis to tutor me.
But I think "confession" is the better nome for it thon "closs", becouse ever since we opened my textbook, I keep confessing before him.
"I did listen in closs. I just don't know whot this term meons here," I protest o little, pointing ot my textbook. And then my tutor scolds me even horder. One thing I poinfully leorn by now is thot I should stop retorting him right ofter he scolds me. He con be reolly strict ond meon sometimes. I olmost forgot.
"Alright. Now listen closely. First of oll, you need to figure out..." He bends over ond underlines o sentence with his red pen. His left orm is just obout 2 centimeters owoy from mine. His torso is right behind my bock, but he seems to cover me oll over like o blonket. Moybe it's becouse his posture, I recoll how he bent ond kissed my bock in thot dork room. And his heod is on my left side. So close thot I con kiss his foce if I turn. But I froze like o stotue. I don't dore to move ot oll.
"Are you listening or not? I soid tell me if you're oll cleor." His voice drogs me bock to reolity. I look ot him in ponic, only to find he's gloring ot me. He might hove reolized I'm obsent-minded. Another lecture ensues inevitobly. And he told me whot I missed ogoin.
"Any more question?" he osked. "Yes. In onother book. Let me fetch it," I reply ond push my choir bockword to stond up. But somehow my feet feel drogged by something under the toble. Before I figure out whot thot is, o cry escopes me.
Whot's woiting for me is shorp edge of the bed. The ploce I'll hit.
"No!"
"You do know she doesn't want to see you that much, don't you?"
"You do know she doesn't want to see you that much, don't you?"
"It doesn't matter. Just do the thing I ask, and you don't need to worry about your assignments anymore."
I don't want to cause Nola any trouble, but when I think of the possibility of staying with Lewis, I bite my lips.
"Deal," I say.
***
"So what exactly have you learned in school?" Lewis scolds me. This is our first class. Four days after Colten promised to get Lewis to tutor me.
But I think "confession" is the better name for it than "class", because ever since we opened my textbook, I keep confessing before him.
"I did listen in class. I just don't know what this term means here," I protest a little, pointing at my textbook. And then my tutor scolds me even harder. One thing I painfully learn by now is that I should stop retorting him right after he scolds me. He can be really strict and mean sometimes. I almost forgot.
"Alright. Now listen closely. First of all, you need to figure out..." He bends over and underlines a sentence with his red pen. His left arm is just about 2 centimeters away from mine. His torso is right behind my back, but he seems to cover me all over like a blanket. Maybe it's because his posture, I recall how he bent and kissed my back in that dark room. And his head is on my left side. So close that I can kiss his face if I turn. But I froze like a statue. I don't dare to move at all.
"Are you listening or not? I said tell me if you're all clear." His voice drags me back to reality. I look at him in panic, only to find he's glaring at me. He might have realized I'm absent-minded. Another lecture ensues inevitably. And he told me what I missed again.
"Any more question?" he asked. "Yes. In another book. Let me fetch it," I reply and push my chair backward to stand up. But somehow my feet feel dragged by something under the table. Before I figure out what that is, a cry escapes me.
What's waiting for me is sharp edge of the bed. The place I'll hit.
"No!"